Dear Santa, as you know, I’m a big reader. I even love it more than writing. Recently, I was thinking about buying a book because I didn’t have anything new to read and I wanted a short story collection so bad, but after looking in all the stores in Oak Ridge and Knoxville, I couldn’t find one that I really wanted. So, I started wondering how many writers were out there that nobody knew existed. I knew there was one at least that is unknown and wondering: is there anybody out, is there anybody out there who could write the greatest short story collection ever, if they only decided to write one?
And the answer came to me faster than one of your magical reindeer fly. The answer was, of course, the great and powerful Roger Water, who’s words are forever sang and revered.
I know that if he wrote a short story collection it would set records that would take years to break. Much like the words in the albums he is known to occasionally write, this book would become a record setting machine and would set a record that would never be broken. Like the album “Dark Side of the Moon,” which stayed in the charts for 741 weeks from 1973 to 1988 and selling 50 million albums worldwide., this book of fiction would become a testament of legend.
So, I’m sure, Santa, that you’ve heard “The Dark Side of the Moon” and “The Wall” which I’m citing as major examples of the skill and power Mr. Roger Waters is capable of putting into his words. And since he is such a gift to the literary world it’s not like I’m asking for this gift out of selfishness. No, I’m writing this for the world. It will be a gift to humanity itself.
So please, Santa, please make Mr. Waters write a book of fiction. I want to read it so bad and I’ve been good all year. Well, you know I was good for some of it. Please Santa, this is my only Christmas wish and I promise to be better next year if I can have this one, single thing. Thank you Santa for all you’ve done for all the other children around the world. I love you so much.
And also, Santa will you make him name it “Diving Deep?” I think “Diving Deep” would be a good title for Roger Waters to use when he writes it.
And P.S. again,
Santa will you please become a racecar driver? You would win every time.
Signed, Thadd Presley