“The Willingness to Learn Something about Anything”
“Life comes down to our willingness to wonder about something and having the courage to know anything.” — quoted from the Universe to Thadd Presley
When I contemplate original ideas and create art, I feel invincible. Absolutely nothing can measure up to the things I dream and bring into reality. Nothing can take away the emotions I release into the world as long as they truly come from my heart and mind. I’m not just another creative power of the universe. I know it comes off as weak and unimportant sometimes, but my power comes directly from the source of all things. The Creator entrusted me with certain creative powers and I use them to create my world and the worlds of those closest to me. What I create is both a gift from me to the universe and a gift from the universe to me, working in unison with powers and beings with no true description in our dimension. A gift from a society completely incorruptible and eternal granting the ability to bring forth lifetimes of timelines and fill them with beautiful experiences and powerful revelations that are only understood by those who have witnessed the unlimited capacity to love and receive love. It’s easy to love those who loved you first. It is all about love.
Then, there comes upon me a darkness, such times I begin doubt my origins and think that I’m not part of the inner sanctum. I’m just another sheep standing in the field and in this field is many folds. We are nothing but animals. Tagged, tracked, and controlled. Nothing I do is a surprise to anybody or anything. Especially to those I have somehow glimpsed in the higher positions of power concerning this world. Nothing I have ever thought is original or inspired by a higher reality. Every idea I’ve ever had has been had by many, perhaps by all, who have come before me and the greatest act of creation I could ever produce is nothing but an outcome from a watered down process of unrealized dreams and incomplete thoughts. Generations of manic and depressed men and women who lived and died never knowing anything concrete about reality or the true nature of life have had these same ideas, thoughts, and dreams. There is truly no new thing under the sun. There are no revelations left to be had by anyone. The best I can ever do is reproduce in some dramatic way the failures of those who came before me.
The only difference I can see, if any, that separate the sheep like me from the other sheep is this egotistical, vanity-driven, self-serving act of writing down my thoughts and ideas. Why do I do it? It’s vanity in its grandest state directed from a place of fear. I’m afraid of being forgotten, afraid of dying, and besides the fact that somewhere deep inside I must truly think I’m different and my thoughts are important enough to remember, I’m afraid of being just like everyone else. So, I try to capture the beautiful ideas and the elegant word play. If I can introduce to a clever character with an interesting story to a reader than it must be true that I am different. If I can create intelligent story lines and bring pleasure to people than I can offer them an entirely separate reasons to exist beside just being alive and miserable. If I can make the lives of the people in my head produce answers to those hard questions so often asked in the real world situations than perhaps I will deserve to be remembered by those who are interested in knowing the secrets of life and the world in which we live.
In many ways, I am only a sheep looking to my shepherd for direction and safety. But, sometimes, I look down at my own hoof-prints and think they are somehow different from the countless others. Simultaneously, I realize that believing I’m different, and even better in some ways, than all the other sheep is maniacal and delusional by any measure. Yet, it seems true. I can only hope it is harmless to me and others. Perhaps, if I’m very lucky, my insanity, might somehow be helpful to someone somewhere. It is, after all, my way of being part of the fold.
Sometimes, I think all the sheep want to believe, or at least should think, that their hoof prints are some majestic Morse code from the cosmos that can only be deciphered by other genius sheep. On the outside we are the same. But, on the inside, we must all feel we are special. There must be something that drives us to create and to live with a zeal. We look alike, we talk alike, we all cry alike, and most of us don’t like the fact that we are the same.
To aall the others in the fold, I tell you:
If you want to think that you are special and that someone, someday might come across an ancient hoof-prints you left in the mud and try to decipher it? Maybe there is a secret code embedded in all of our hoof-prints and maybe there is not. Every life is trying to teach us the importance of enjoying life, and that life comes from our willingness to wonder about everything and to have the courage to push through the towering inferno of ignorance we see burning around us and learn anything about something.